Day 31 of the 30 day sobriety journey

Yep, that’s right… It’s one full day past the end of the 30 day program and the longest I’ve gone without drinking any booze in over 15 years probably!

Yesterday, March 2, was the 30th day of the 30 Day Sobriety Solution by Dave Andrews that I’ve been following.  During the first days, as I’d listen to the content, I’d have a mental struggle going-on where I was asking myself it it’d be OK to drink while listening to the audio files or not.  After all, when you drink pretty much every day for the past 4 years, and at least 5 days a week for the 10 years preceeding, it’s a habit that is hard to break!

But, here I am at day 31 as I write this.  I still have the partial box of wine on the kitchen counter, and the various assortment of hard liquors in the pantry.  But you know what?  Even without having some program content to listen to tonight, I didn’t have ANY trouble just ignoring the booze.  Even though I see it and have easy access, it’s not dominating my thoughts and I had no urge to pour any tonight.  That’s quite a change in just a month.

I still haven’t decided if I’m going to stop drinking completely or not.  I have a few very close core friends whom I occasionally get a chance to visit with (they’re in another town) and that’s often over a few beers.  So, I may occasionally have a few drinks in social situations, but I’m not going to allow myself to drink at home, by myself, like I was before because I’m a poor whip-cracker on myself and just don’t know when to stop when nobody else is around.

Admittedly, there are some days where I do feel like “vegging” out and that’s one unexpected thing being sober has made me think of:  how I feel like I have to be “doing something” all the time, and the drinking helped me not feel that constant pressure.  Of course, the next day, I’d often feel guilty because I didn’t do anything the night before.  So, that’s one interesting thing I’m going to have to try to find a way to deal with, since I just don’t feel like being busy all day, every day.

Anyway, that’s probably enough for now.  31 days and counting…

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